I haven’t been a good mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister or anything. The rattling of life got me down. I let it weigh heavily on my soul. So I had a few pitty parties alone. While I rehashed all my poor decisions of the day. The moment I lost my marbles on my kids and then had to go behind closed doors to lose them all over again on myself. When I wasn’t there for someone I loved the way I should have been. Or how I kind of just existed within my marriage. I would go over the moments, I would stress about whether I ruined my kids for good this time, whether I was letting my loved ones down, whether my clients were happy still. It was. not. serving. any. good.

I see everywhere all these dam rules about how to live your best life. And, don’t get me wrong, I GET IT. Lots of these rules are just common sense rules of life. Ya know, pick up after yourself, be kind, work hard, shower once in awhile. I decided the best thing for me {and reflectively best for my kids, husband, and so on} is to live.

So I thought about it. And I came up with a few things to guide me through the rough moments.

This is the most important one. Be happy. Sometimes that means staying inside EVEN WHEN ITS GORGEOUS outside and everyone and their dog {literally} are outisde soaking up the sunshine. If it feels right and serves your happy vibes to stay in and read a book or clean your house or just in general avoid what everyone else thinks is “the right thing to do” …THEN FUCKING DO IT

Life is short blah blah blah…yeah, you are right, it can be. Often its shortest for the bestest. I had a client say to me today “Life is too short to not plan ahead” and that struck a nerve. Ya, you know what? It is. It is too short. If you live to be 15 or 115 YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME. If you have people in your life that you love and love you, if you have passion, if you are care at all about anything at all YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME. But also, you can’t live your life never making a fricken plan. Or all of a sudden when you are all like ” waaa life is short but I can’t afford to go on this once in a life time opportuity with my lifelong best friends because I didn’t ever plan past today ‘cuz life is short” you are probably going to be kinda mad at yourself for not kinda a little bit planning ahead. Life is short, for sure. I have experienced this. But also, life is long and full of amazing things and awesome experiences and FUTURE. So be ready for that too.

This one isn’t so much a rule, as an observation and rejection. #momlife is BS. I love my kids and would lay down my life for them. Hands down. No hesitation. Where do I sign. Don’t mistake that – I LOVE BEING A MOM. But my mom life will be and is different from your mom life, no matter how similar you think we live. Does your kid go to bed at 7? Cool, mine doesn’t. You weaned your toddler off his bottle already!?! Wow, congrats Mama. I haven’t even attempted it. Your kids are happy and healthy and Loved? Mine too. #enoughsaid #conversationforanotherday

You know what is awesome? Getting up in the morning to a clean kitchen. Know what else is awesome? Enjoying my evening when the kids are finally in bed, after a meal that happened about 2 hours later than it likely should have. Some days you might have to just let it go. I know I am able to say that more fluidly than lots since I work from home and can be a little more flexible with stuff like that. I do get that. And appreciate that. But guys, the dishes won’t bloody blow up. So if for one night you want to “do them tomorrow” so you can focus on your own shit for once…LEAVE THE DISHES.

COMPARING. I am sure everyone knows this…don’t compare yourself to others. Its pretty standard, one would think? But its a slippery slope I am afraid. STOP THAT SHIT. Willing to bet that person that you are comparing yourself too is falling apart over something that doesn’t even phase you. We all have our things. Be your own role model. Be you. Do you. And do it well. And then try to do it better. You want to compare. Alright. Go for it. But be dam sure all you compare yourself to is yourself.

6. Believe. In yourself, first. You. Are. Killing. It.

7. Sometimes life is lonely. Whether it’s #momlife or a demanding busy career it can be lonely. So be sure to surround yourself with people that invest in you as much as you invest in them. Your contact list might shrink. But it’s quality over quantity.

Advertisements