Life. You are beautiful and full of greatness and glory. I am grateful for you each day that I wake up and am able to follow my dreams. For each day I wake up and am able to listen to the pitter patter of tiny toddler feet hitting the floor at full speed. For being able to wake up next to my best friend every morning. (Except the nights he sleeps on the couch. If he wants to fall asleep there, he can stay there.) Life. You are wonderful and amazing. 

Most days you are wonderful and amazing. Most days. Sometimes despite being blessed (and I know I am) I feel like I’m doing 100mph down a dark road. I am irritated. Short tempered. Tired. Pissed off about…everything. Dislike every article of clothing I own. Don’t like the way I look. Unsure about the decisions I made ten years ago. You get the drift. So while most days are filled with laughter and awesome sauce – some days aren’t. 
Yes, I know it could always be worse. Of course I know that. At times it has “been worse” for us. But without the lows you can’t have the highs. Without the sadness you can’t have the happiness. So with every bit of darkness I encounter, I remember (try to) that it’s during this time that you will see the brightest stars. 

Each day to really recognize that life isn’t so bad but that’s it’s real and sometimes it’s hard and that I am going to survive, persevere, endure, I make lists. If I am on my game I write them down. Lots of times though I just say them out loud. 

My lists: 

  • Five things I am grateful for – this list often includes fizz sticks. Often also includes wine. 
  • Five affirmations. Almost everyday this list reminds me that I am capable. 
  • Five things I failed at. Trying is the bravest thing to ever do. 
  • Five people I am happy to have in my life. This list always includes my son. Even on the days that it amazes me I don’t leave him on someone else’s doorstep. 
  • Five goals for the next day. Like, you know, putting on pants. 

There’s days where these “five 5’s” (That is the name I have for this to remind myself to do it) really goes deep to the pits of my soul. And there’s days where I am grateful for coffee…five times. The point is that each day I make a point of doing it. 

At this very moment I can tell you that one of the five 5’s will be snuggling with my boy on our couch! After a long weekend traveling we are excited to be home in our comforts.